tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29181968245279530042024-02-07T10:38:55.065+00:00Being BisexualA journal of being bisexual in the 21st century. Views, experiences, advice, and more.Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-44693716347192274282021-03-01T19:59:00.000+00:002021-03-01T19:59:23.232+00:00The evil of Issues in Human Sexuality<div style="text-align: left;">I <a href="https://twitter.com/TechieGeorgina/status/1366477862975533056" target="_blank">recently tweeted</a> about <a href="https://www.churchofengland.org/sites/default/files/2018-07/issues%20in%20human%20sexuality.pdf" target="_blank">Issues in Human Sexuality </a>on Twitter, and I was intending to make it a long thread with all my thoughts. But I could tell I was quite upset, and any millennial worth their salt knows 'never tweet angry'!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So I've turned to this blog as a brief outlet, because I cannot let it go entirely. Thank you for indulging my need to rant. I am allowed to disagree with the church on this, and let people know my opinion; I wouldn't still be part of it if I wasn't. It's important to think about how I air my views though, so here's my trying to be sensitive without betraying my integrity!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Here are the tweets I managed to resist putting in that thread: <br /><br />-What’s depressing is how much the introduction claims exactly the same principles/intentions as in the <a href="https://www.churchofengland.org/resources/living-love-and-faith" target="_blank">LLF</a> material. The big difference now is we have access to legal same-sex marriage and we can have a legitimate argument for <a href="https://www.churchofengland.org/about/policy-and-thinking/our-views/family-marriage-and-sexuality" target="_blank">CofE</a> same-sex weddings and clergy having same-sex spouses.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-LGBTQIA+ people suffer from this document but cisgender and heterosexual people are also skewered by the theology it proffers. I think it upholds shame, bibliolatry, hypocrisy, inaccurate generalisations, possibly Gnosticism, and the patriarchy with relish.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Some of the concepts invoked are so wrong as to be ridiculous. For someone born in 1992, it’s like reading something from the Bronze Age - it’s so anachronistic, I can’t recognise that it’s from within living memory.<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-The word ‘homophile’ is one of the most damaging things queer people is the CofE <i>still</i> have to deal with. <br /></div>Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-48889756454045756322018-12-17T17:00:00.000+00:002018-12-17T17:00:14.137+00:00Being a bi trainee vicar on the frontlinesWhat does it mean to be an activist? To be struggling for visibility, equality, respect, change?<br />
<br />
I have always felt called to the frontlines of the fight that bisexuals face every day, and this past week I had an encounter that reminded me of that calling. Many readers of this blog will know I am a Christian, <a href="http://www.thewayishouldwalkin.blogspot.co.uk/">training to be a priest</a> in the Church of England, so that is my particular battle ground, and it was in a Christian context that I had said encounter.<br />
<br />
And it's hard. I know Christianity gets a bad press, but most normal people on the ground do quite well at treating people decently, rather than the horrendous violence and bigotry we see in the news. Thank God, that is not the norm, though it is sadly not rare either. No, my experience is of Christian people and communities wrestling earnestly to do the impossible which we are <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Commandment">commanded</a> to do - love God, and love your neighbour, including <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_5:44">love your enemy</a>.<br />
<br />
So in that environment, where I too am trying to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Rule">do as I would be done by</a>, to find antagonism, to hear views that discredit me based purely on who God made me, it's hard. To pray and eat and laugh with people, then be confronted with their irrational, and frankly un-Christian, views is heart-breaking and incomprehensible.<br />
<br />
I'm not going to tell you what happened in this encounter. But I can tell you how I felt, and what it's made me think about.<br />
<br />
I felt my body enter fight or flight mode, and it took a lot of will to do neither, but to act with integrity. Afterwards, I had that shaky feeling you get when the adrenaline stops spiking, and obviously, being British, I had a cup of tea and a sit down. However, I was not scared. I was right where I was supposed to be, doing what I understand to be living out my faith, what we would call 'being Christ to one another'. That means things like prioritising others, risking vulnerability, not giving up on anyone, but also challenging injustice; <span style="font-family: inherit;">"<span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://www.guyslikeu.com/my-story/gay-priest/?fbclid=IwAR0GwmJh19hOqWpLwlh3kCQtU3CFGQSLTvh6pkgTXGLVVQvuFXQRZEgkkf4">exercise mercy without forgetting justice, and minister discipline without forgetting mercy</a>".</span></span><br />
<br />
I am in the process of figuring out what a bisexual activist priest looks like, and moments like this are informing that process. Moments when I see clearly how I must not over react whilst still defending my God-given right to exist, where the priestly part dictates my behaviour, and the bisexual activist part dictates the aims of that behaviour (though I think these aims also line up with what being a priest and Christian is about). I think most activists understand that you undermine your message if you throw a tantrum and treat those who oppose you like crap; but for a priest, that must never become a tempting option - I am following stronger motivations for ethical behaviour than just tactics.<br />
<br />
I also felt exhilarated. We all know that nervy feeling and the shaky come-down, but usually in my experience I am immediately concerned that whoever is confronting me has a point, and I doubt myself, questioning my decisions. This time, I was completely confident, and sure of myself. I am so lucky to be in a position to be able to stand up and fight.<br />
<br />
That seems to be a key element to what makes an activist. Someone who can. I can because I am not fighting chronic internalised biphobia. I can because I am surrounded by love and support. I can because I'm a gobby, confident risk-taker. And I want to. I do feel a sense of duty, but not enough if I wasn't also up for it. I have a duty to those who are wrestling with self-hate, those who feel alone and vulnerable, those who are quiet, reserved, maybe shy, maybe cautious.<br />
<br />
I go to the frontlines so they don't have to, so they can live their lives and try and work out what's best for them and theirs without worrying about the 'cause' and the bigger picture. That's what I'm fighting for isn't it? So we can all get on with our lives - the hope that one day we won't need to have a cause, because we will be able to have the full lives we deserve.<br />
<br />
Being a bisexual is hard enough in a world where we get shit from all sides; and I'm saying that aware of the privilege I have growing up and living in a country, and parts of that country, and a class in that country, where I have the chance to be out at all, where I can reach out and meet other queers, where I can date who I want. Even given all that, it's hard being a bisexual; and being bisexual is even harder living in a religious world.<br />
<br />
For example, no one ever asks us how the same-sex marriage debate affects us. What happens to a future long-term relationship that I want to make permanent is dictated by the happenstance of what gender the person I fall in love with is. Somehow, people I admire and am called to work alongside think that there is something fundamentally different if it's not with a man, the opposite sex to me. I can't get equal opportunity to be blessed and celebrate if it's with a woman. (And let's not even look at how the church is seriously letting down God's <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersex">intersex</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer">genderqueer</a> children).<br />
<br />
Even up against that sort of nonsense, I am proud to be called to fight, and I hope I can do a good job. I hope I can be a good bisexual activist priest. I hope I have more encounters, even though they will be unpleasant, they won't all be exhilarating, and they could be downright dangerous. I'm a Christian, I follow a God who made themself vulnerable, and as a flesh-and-blood human being faced the oppressor with grace, foisted the yoke with humility, and showed those who are weak that they are actually strong. So I can only hope that a bisexual activist priest ends up looking like me.Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-31712559966022392372018-02-12T12:29:00.001+00:002018-02-12T15:50:48.454+00:00Bisexual trainee priest speaks in church about LGBT history monthThis is one of my sermons, a talk in a church service. I am a bisexual ordinand (trainee priest) from the Church of England, and this sermon was in a school chapel, speaking on LGBT history month. View the video <a href="https://youtu.be/vLPr71YA3oM" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglPtiQPkuxkFRZ0lNywVaMRliu0KYbNkQNuc2MHbi10I7bQlKGEfVrtivofVHw-9A5EOkvl8E4z015oe8IRWyNJyK1mmJD88mJMXxlSNu-PjDQnAfjRnQ0M4mth_e9SIrJuvVaikAtL6hx/s1600/blog+post+plug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="629" data-original-width="1348" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglPtiQPkuxkFRZ0lNywVaMRliu0KYbNkQNuc2MHbi10I7bQlKGEfVrtivofVHw-9A5EOkvl8E4z015oe8IRWyNJyK1mmJD88mJMXxlSNu-PjDQnAfjRnQ0M4mth_e9SIrJuvVaikAtL6hx/s400/blog+post+plug.jpg" title="A sermon by a bisexual ordinand" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://thewayishouldwalkin.blogspot.co.uk/2018/02/lgbt-ordinand.html" target="_blank">Click here</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I'm proud of this moment in my life, that as a bisexual of faith I can try and make the most of the opportunities that I have. This sermon includes part my story, bisexual nuns, Peru, Frida Kahlo, and textiles, so hopefully it's not the type of sermon that is dry and only of interest to keen-bean Christians!Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-76539465898080910142017-01-27T16:24:00.002+00:002017-01-27T16:24:50.823+00:00Shared Conversations Report - a bisexual perspective(To read my previous thoughts on bisexuality within Christianity and the Church of England from a bisexual Christian's perspective, see the list of relevant posts from this blog in <a href="http://iamabisexual.blogspot.co.uk/p/bisexual-christian.html" target="_blank">Bisexual Christianity posts</a>.)<br />
<br />
After two years of 'Shared Conversations, the House of Bishops has published <a href="https://www.churchofengland.org/media/3863472/gs-2055-marriage-and-same-sex-relationships-after-the-shared-conversations-report-from-the-house-of-bishops.pdf" target="_blank">Marriage and Same Sex Relationships after the Shared Conversations: A Report from the House of Bishops</a> (click the link to read, 19 pages isn't as long as it sounds!)<br />
<br />
I have read it and here are a few summary thoughts.<br />
<br />
Positive thoughts first. Even though they ultimately decided against it, the fact that it looks like they truly looked into the possibility of establishing an authorised service for same sex relationships is a good thing. The thorough look at the options opens the door for those of us desperate for such a liturgy to maybe eventually get one. Worship is the quintessential act that we do as 'church'; the body of Christ gathers, and they first and foremost worship God, together, before any of the other many and diverse acts that being 'church' means. That is an astonishingly profound basis for our lives in Christ, the bedrock on which everything we do is held, and the lack of liturgy for same sex relationships is a despairingly exclusionary state of being. But there's hope.<br />
<br />
I'm also pleased to see the inclusion of acknowledging the church's own call to "trust its members" and leave them to their own "prayerful responsibility" and crucially "[enable] grace for legitimate diversity".<br />
<br />
But I'm not impressed with this report, at all. I am disappointed that though the <a href="http://iamabisexual.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/the-pilling-report-bisexual-perspective.html" target="_blank">Pilling Report</a> was flawed in its well-intended attempt at inclusive language, even the inroads it made have been backtracked in this newest report. The people affected by these discussions were referred to as "gay and lesbian people and those who experience same sex attraction". First, there were instances when it just read "gay and lesbian people", committing <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_erasure" target="_blank">bierasure</a>, and secondly, what is the point in the distinction between the three? Referring to everyone as 'those who experience same sex attraction' would have been a adequate catch-all (in this context, as we are dealing with exclusively matters of attraction, as opposed to gender expression or identity) without making me as a bisexual feel less important and like an afterthought.<br />
<br />
Overall, I don't care that the Church wants to establish "across the Church of England a fresh tone and culture of
welcome and support", because the doctrines on same-sex relations and marriage are remaining unchanged. There's a lot wrong with the document <i>Issues on Human Sexuality</i>, and I'm sure it's a positive move to suggest replacing it, but ultimately, it's a <b>pointless </b>exercise whilst doctrine remains the same. The replacement guidance document will still be upholding what I believe to be doctrines that go against my faith as a follower of Christ and beloved child of God, and it is those doctrines that exclude, condemn and cause suffering to non-hetero people. The 'tone' and 'culture' within the Church will not move by more than inches whilst the doctrines remain, because they give credence, support and encouragement to the people who treat queer people differently just because they are queer, generally in a negative, fearful, hateful, and un-Christ-like way. It is merely <a href="https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/rearranging-the-deckchairs-on-the-titanic" target="_blank">rearranging the deckchairs</a>.<br />
<br />
So really, I hope to proved wrong in my prediction that this report will have little true impart on the state of suffering of those who are attracted to the same sex within the CofE community, but sadly, that is what I predict.<br />
<br />
<br />Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-4377108545285830082016-02-26T00:05:00.000+00:002018-04-24T09:36:08.434+01:00Bisexual PriestI've never really had any problems in my life crop up because I'm bisexual. I've been tremendously lucky, I know that, and I'm very grateful. My parents haven't disowned me, friends haven't abandoned me, I've haven't feared for my safety, or been mistreated by lovers, I can be out at work, in church, on the internet, with most family (no need as I see it to trouble my grandparents though). I've flirted, loved and lost like anyone my age really, maybe not as proactively as I could do, but I'm with someone, a guy, we've been going together since the summer, so that's evened out alright.<br />
<br />
So what's going on? For years, I've had a niggling in the back of my head that said some day I would be a priest, but I thought nothing of it until in September, five months ago, when it reared to the forefront and suddenly 'some day' was right now. So since then I've embarked on what is known as the discernment process, where the church and I - the Church of England - discern whether what I think I feel is correct. You can read about how I've getting on at <a href="http://thewayishouldwalkin.blogspot.co.uk/">thewayishouldwalkin.blogspot.co.uk</a>.<br />
<br />
I haven't posted on this blog for a while because nothing really relevant has cropped up; you can see how sporadic things have been over the last few posts. But this issue, the process by which the church will seek to know me inside out, my bisexuality and general stance on sex/gender suddenly becomes quite, quite relevant.<br />
<br />
If you're in the UK, you've probably seen the tumultuous goings-on about same-sex relations within the Church of England, and you might have heard about them abroad too, as the ripples reach the rest of the Anglican Communion. The most recent epicentre was the meeting of Primates in Lambeth that resulted in the Episcopal Church in America being sanctioned for embracing same-sex marriage.<br />
<br />
What's official comes from three things: Issues in Human Sexuality*, a report from 1991; a Synod motion from 1987, below; and to a lesser extent, <a href="http://www.anglicancommunion.org/resources/document-library/lambeth-conference/1998/section-i-called-to-full-humanity/section-i10-human-sexuality?author=Lambeth+Conference&year=1998" target="_blank">this </a>resolution of the Anglican Communion. (For more click <a href="https://www.churchofengland.org/more/policy-and-thinking/our-views/family-marriage-and-sexuality" target="_blank">here</a>.)<br />
<br />
1987 motion:<br />
<br />
"This Synod affirms that the biblical and traditional teaching on
chastity [<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">refraining from extramarital/all sexual intercourse]</span> and fidelity in personal relationships is a response to,
and expression of, God’s love for each one of us, and in
particular affirms;<br />
(1) that sexual intercourse is an act of total commitment which
belongs properly within a permanent married relationship.<br />
(2) that fornication [<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">sexual intercourse between people not married to each other]</span> and adultery are sins against this ideal, and
are to be met by a call to repentance and the exercise of
compassion.<br />
(3) that homosexual genital acts also fall short of this ideal,
and are likewise to be met with a call to repentance and the
exercise of compassion<br />
(4) that all Christians are called to be exemplary in all spheres
of morality, and that holiness of life is particularly required
of Christian leaders."<br />
<br />
So to summarise the official stance of the CofE on bisexuality in 2016 is that ideally I should be celibate until I marry a man, and further, being with women isn't best practice, but they aren't going to burn me at the stake if I date or even get a civil partnership with a woman.<br />
<br />
But not if I'm a priest.<br />
<br />
I've been re-reading the<a href="http://iamabisexual.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/the-pilling-report-bisexual-perspective.html" target="_blank"> Pilling Report</a>; it refers Issues in Human Sexuality which distinguishes "<i>between the clergy and lay Christians in that, whilst the good conscience of lay people who chose to enter a sexually active same sex relationship should be respected, the clergy cannot claim the liberty to enter into sexually active homophile relationships...[also] clergy cannot claim the liberty to enter into pre- or extra-marital
sexual relationships, however ‘normal’ or trivial such relationships
may be to the surrounding culture</i>."<br />
<br />
It was encouraging to read in the PR: "<i>Rather than thinking about the human population in terms of a fixed binary division between two sets of people, those who are straight and those who are gay, it seems that we need to accept that while there is a large majority of people who only ever experience heterosexual attraction and a smaller number who only experience homosexual attraction, there is also a significant minority of people who either experience some form of bisexual attraction or who move between heterosexual and homosexual attraction at some point or points in their life."</i><br />
<br />
So there is an institutional awareness of bisexuality, and things have VERY SLOWLY been going the right way for a while. There's certainly condemnation of treating LGB people negatively.<br />
<br />
I am scared however. There is anecdotal evidence that anyone who openly has same sex attraction is grilled harder when they put themselves forward for discernment, because they are a bigger potential scandal risk. I fear not just my openness about my sexuality will be a barrier, but my general liberal attitudes to all things sex and gender, which I am not willing to either change my mind or be silent about, because silence means people continue to suffer.<br />
<br />
It's not definite that it'll be a problem: "<i>As the 2005 Pastoral Statement from the House of Bishops
acknowledges that clergy are fully entitled to argue for a change to
the Church of England’s teaching on human sexuality, it would not be
appropriate for candidates to be questioned in ways which imply that
they may not so argue in the course of their ministries.</i>"<br />
<br />
I do already argue for change and I will not stop. Official statements about sex are so inaccurate to the human condition, which has finally found a voice in the 21st century, that it's laughable. Just look at those 4 points above, I can agree with hardly anything there! Liberal ideas about sex ie. sex is not just one thing, it is a vast number of possible things depending not just on gender but context, relationships, abilities, time and place, pleasure, love, necessity, boundaries, desires; it's emotional, social, physical, psychological; it's SO MANY THINGS - these ideas are not new, and the current attitudes and policies are so restricted now that it's becoming clearer. And don't get me started on gender.<br />
<br />
This isn't a generation making stuff up, it's a generation that has FINALLY broken down taboo and been able to express and discuss sex in a mature and compassionate fashion; we can now actually be truthful about sex, and not be ashamed of the truth. It's the same with everything, shame generally comes from ignorance, and once educated, the shame disappears and acceptance of the full scope of truth leads to happier people, fruitful societies, good all round. Surely it is right, and good, and proper to live our lives truthfully? I can't understand how anyone can still think so narrowly, and use it to judge and condemn people living their truth without negative impact on the world.<br />
<br />
The question remains how detailed are the questions going to be about my conduct and what I'll be asked to promise to do or not do. For I very much plan on living my love life with integrity, respect, love, honouring myself and others, in line with my personal faith, my relationship with God; and being leader in the Church who doesn't disregard it's teaching outright, who engages in dialogue and seeks to live a life centred on the Great Commandment, love God and love neighbour. But I don't know if that's enough.<br />
<br />
Looking at the details, the criteria for selection simply says "<span style="font-size: 12pt;">Candidates must be willing to
live within the discipline of </span><i style="font-size: 12pt;">Issues in
Human Sexuality*."; </i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">and</span> there are two relevant questions in the ordination service:<br />
<ul>
<li>Will you endeavour to fashion your own life and that of your household according to the way of Christ, that you may be a pattern and example to Christ's people?</li>
<li>Will you accept and minister the discipline of this Church, and respect authority duly exercised within it?</li>
</ul>
<div>
I think 'the way of Christ' is found in my above declaration of integrity etc, and 'respecting authority' has room for interpretation. The criteria bit is a tad tricky, but I'll get to that when it comes to it, and I'll seek advice as well. I maintain that I have a right to privacy, regardless of how the CofE wants to get to know me. We'll see how that flies. I may have to take a good long hard look at whether I want to work for an institution who might reject me because we don't see entirely eye to eye on one matter within my private life. But I've always said, with the beginning of this blog, I am willing to be a flag waver, I will step up and speak out for a better world, and to be honest that's partly come from my faith; I follow a political rebel after all. So maybe it's worth it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I just hope I don't get crucified.<br />
<br />
*Edit: here's a good post from a bi transguy theology student about the bisexuality section (119 words in total) in Issues of Human Sexuality: https://transformingtheologynate.wordpress.com/2017/03/24/119/</div>
Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-5898811611172182212015-09-28T21:26:00.001+01:002015-09-28T21:26:07.295+01:00Church Times celebrates BiVisibility DayMy friend at church caught me at the end of the service this Sunday to ask me if I had read this article published on the 18th September in the Church Times. I don't read CT so he kindly sent it to me and I wanted to share it.<br />
<br />
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{158}" paraid="1947277634" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: #365f91; font-size: 6pt; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="FieldRange SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: #e1e3e6; color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: #304e87; font-family: UtopiaStd-Regular, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><span class="NormalTextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: inherit; color: black; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Opinion</span></span></span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: #304e87; font-family: UtopiaStd-Regular, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">: </span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: #304e87; font-family: UtopiaStd-Regular, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Freeing sexuality from an either/or model</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: UtopiaStd-Regular, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{163}" paraid="360097689" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">‘Church Times’ 1</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">8</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> September 2015</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{165}" paraid="2138918231" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{171}" paraid="1677577372" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Bisexuality is often misunderstood, but has the potential to refocus discussions of gender, argues</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> </span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Symon</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> Hill</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 17px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{173}" paraid="954239607" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; height: auto; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: auto; word-wrap: break-word;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{178}" paraid="794971953" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">“NOBODY’s really bisexual.” It’s a sentence I have heard often. It has been said by gay people as well as straight ones; by “liberals” as well as “conservatives”. The evidence is mounting against it. A </span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><span class="SpellingError SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: inherit; background-image: url(data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">YouGov</span></span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> survey last month suggested that 23 per cent of British adults did not regard themselves as exclusively heterosexual or homosexual. The figure rose to 49 per cent among 18-to-24-year-olds.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{181}" paraid="1004760011" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">As Christians, we need to be aware of this. Whatever our views on sexuality, we are called to recognise truth, and to witness to it. Bisexual people, like everyone else, need pastoral care, and that means acknowledging their existence. Bisexual Visibility Day will be marked around the world on Wednesday (23 September).</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{184}" paraid="589936677" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">There is another reason for Christians to pay attention: the reality of bisexuality gives us a different starting-point in discussions of sexuality. Church debates are bogged down in name-calling and predictable arguments. At the same time, many churches are slow to recognise the reality of church-based sexual abuse.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{187}" paraid="393685492" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">In this context, we urgently need new questions, as well as new answers, if we are to respond meaningfully to issues of sexual ethics and to proclaim God’s love in the context of sexuality and human relationships.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{190}" paraid="147383176" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> </span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{193}" paraid="1906623049" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">THE tendency to ignore bisexuals seems particularly prevalent in Christian circles. The Pilling report made almost no reference to bisexuality (News, 6 December 2013). It repeatedly used the phrase “gay and lesbian”. At certain points, it seems that this is meant to mean “people who are not straight” or “people in same-sex relationships”. At other points, it seems to involve the more usual meaning of “people attracted only to others of the same sex”.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{196}" paraid="1800456780" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Church discussions on sexuality are confusing and controversial enough without using sloppy language and ignoring a sizeable number of people. The Pilling report is far from being the only culprit.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{201}" paraid="1323769510" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Campaigners on both sides of the argument say “gay marriage” when they mean same-sex marriage. As a bisexual Christian, I know that marrying a man would not make me gay, nor would </span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">marrying</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> a woman make me straight.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{204}" paraid="157730388" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I am not trying to say that bisexuals are more hard done by than gay people. This is not a competition. In some ways, bisexuals may suffer less from prejudice than gay people. In certain contexts, however, bisexuals experience additional hostility.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{207}" paraid="1042934934" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Homosexuality challenges traditional gender notions, but a gay person is at least looking for a partner of a particular gender. Someone who says that the gender of his or her partner does not matter may pose far more of a threat to those who are keen to defend binary gender categories.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{210}" paraid="1884542670" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> </span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{213}" paraid="1759382619" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">THIS very challenge gives us a different angle from which to approach theological questions on sexuality. One of the most shocking aspects of the New Testament is its challenge to gender roles.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{216}" paraid="585890049" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">In the Gospels, we see Jesus allowing women to make physical contact with him, in a culture that found this shocking. We see him challenging male-centred divorce, and telling men who committed adultery in their hearts to take responsibility for their sexual behaviour towards women. In St Paul’s early writing, we read his assertion that “There is no longer male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3.28).</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{219}" paraid="478468977" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Things changed. Later writings such as the First Letter to Timothy (which, in the view of most scholars, was not written by Paul) encourage women to obey their husbands. But the radical tendency was not stamped out.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{222}" paraid="307776778" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">A second-century letter, Second Clement, declares that “a brother who sees a sister should think nothing about her being female, and she should think nothing about his being male.” The letter was read alongside scripture in some churches until as late as the fifth century.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{225}" paraid="173067" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> </span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{232}" paraid="137075454" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">SUCH attitudes raise questions not only for those who exclude sexual minorities, but for others who wish to allow gay people into the Church as a sort of exception. I have known Christians who say that gay people should be tolerated because they “can’t help” being gay. This degrading statement implies that bisexuals</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> </span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">can</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> </span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">help it, and should choose a partner of a different sex.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{235}" paraid="1982614688" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">If we ignore these issues, we reject both Christian history and the needs of people who do not fit into neat categories of male and female, or straight and gay. The radical New Testament message of “no longer male and female” has the potential to free us from these human-made categories altogether.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{238}" paraid="343176489" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">This emphatically does not mean adopting an “anything-goes” approach to sexuality. Rather, it frees us to concentrate on what really matters. Most of the people whom I find attractive are women; some are not. Most of them have dark hair; some have not.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{241}" paraid="557650628" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Society regards one of these issues as trivial, and the other one as a vital aspect of my identity. Perhaps if we were to regard them both as trivial, we might give more attention to what really is vital.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{246}" paraid="663030614" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">By taking gender out of the discussion, we can focus on what really makes a relationship right, how we truly live in love, and what it means to follow </span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Jesus’s</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> example in all areas of life.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{249}" paraid="1801040551" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">These are tough questions that require a great deal of thought and prayer. We will not all reach the same conclusions, but at least we will be starting with helpful questions. As a popular bisexual slogan puts it, love has no gender.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{59e3a513-71c6-488e-8558-934b4faa498a}{252}" paraid="378088394" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> </span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{961acd4e-b96c-4fdc-92d2-b5093ee0a917}{4}" paraid="704367868" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Symon</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> Hill is the author of</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> </span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">The Upside-Down Bible: What Jesus really said about money, sex and violence</span><span class="TextRun SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">, which will be published by DLT in November.</span><span class="EOP SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 18px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX27117952" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: white; clear: both; cursor: text; direction: ltr; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; overflow: visible; padding: 0px; position: relative;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX27117952" paraeid="{961acd4e-b96c-4fdc-92d2-b5093ee0a917}{6}" paraid="2039010220" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; -webkit-user-drag: none; -webkit-user-select: text; background-color: transparent; color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-49224202983764203882015-08-07T13:37:00.001+01:002015-08-07T13:37:40.044+01:00#StillBisexual video<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ybyeK94yMXA/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ybyeK94yMXA?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<br />
I had loads of fun making this video. Paring down the story to short sentences that fit into two minutes whilst trying to maybe be entertaining was a challenge, but I'm just glad I have a colourful collection of sharpies!<br />
<br />
This is part of a campaign to address the issue that people often see bisexuals as 'now' gay or straight once they enter into a committed relationship, rather than being still bisexual, as the title suggests. To find out more visit <a href="http://stillbisexual.com/">stillbisexual.com</a>; there are loads of wonderful stories on there; and if you're inspired to make your own video, there is a clear instructions page.<br />
<br />
Here's the script of my video, but I recommend watching it first.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->I
fell in love with a boy at drama group in 2004.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was 12. It was unrequited. I was heartbroken.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #00b0f0;">The first guy to ask me out asked me that same year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #00b0f0;">We went to the cinema with his
mum. He didn’t kiss me :(<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #00b0f0;">I met another boy at a fancy dress party age 13.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #00b0f0;">He was Danny from Grease, I was
Pocahontas. He was soooo cute.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #00b0f0;">We went to the cinema, alone. He
didn’t kiss me either :(<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->I
fell in love with one of my friends at my girls-only school in 2006, age 14.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #ff66cc;">We went to the cinema, alone, and
I was so happy just to spend time with her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #ff66cc;">We made out in the back row :D<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #ff66cc;">She was my first kiss. When she
dumped me, I was heartbroken.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #00b0f0;">I let my friend kiss me to cheer
me up, he was very sweet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #7030a0;">I came out as bi to a new group
of friends at a new school age 16.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #7030a0;">They were totally cool with it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #00b0f0;">A boy asked me out,
we had fun, we even went on a canal holiday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="color: #00b0f0;">He dumped me; God told him to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #ff66cc; font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #ff66cc;">I asked a girl out and
she said “I can’t think of a reason not to.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #00b0f0;">After her, a boy in
my friendship group and I had a fling but no one understood why.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #7030a0;">I came out as bi to my parents
when I was 18.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #7030a0;">I thought my mother had a
problem with it for years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #7030a0;">I was wrong :)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #00b0f0;">A boy in first year
at uni almost, but then didn’t, want me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="color: #00b0f0;">I had fun with some of my friends who were boys. I was
20.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #ff66cc; font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #ff66cc;">I went to a party, met
a girl, we got our faces painted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #ff66cc;">In the morning, there was paint
everywhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="color: #00b0f0;">Had another one night stand, with a boy. We had fun. We
never spoke again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #00b0f0; font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #00b0f0;">Had a failed first
date with a boy from a party.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -7.1pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->In 2015, I went to the aquarium with the boy
from the drama group.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That went well :D<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think we are such a cute couple.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I am #StillBisexual.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been lucky. Others haven’t.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Help me stop the suffering. Spread the word. We as
#StillBisexual.<o:p></o:p></div>
Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-35358104229410326382015-08-04T16:42:00.000+01:002015-08-04T16:42:02.375+01:00My sexuality as a hobbyMostly, I work. That is what spend most of my time doing. I'm a freelance stage manager, and each job is generally 3-8 weeks long, and there is a basic schedule that productions follow. This means my hours generally go in a cycle that looks like this:<br />
<br />
Rehearsals Mon-Sat 8.30am-7.30pm (sometimes later)<br />
Technical/Dress Rehearsals 8.30am-11pm (sometimes so much later it's early again)<br />
Show Call 5pm-11pm or 12pm-11pm on matinees.<br />
- rehearsals for the next job might start whilst I'm on show call for the previous one.<br />
<br />
With such a cycle, I have no time that I can guarantee I will be free on a regular basis so my ability to have a hobby is somewhat limited. Downtime that I get is either spent on essential rest (which trust me, you need as well as enough sleep to function) like watching TV and painting my nails; or catching up with life stuff, like doing my grocery shop/cooking/laundry/accounts/reminding friends I'm still alive.<br />
<br />
I don't count TV or reading as real hobbies, as they don't feel interactive enough to elicit the term, and I mostly do my reading whilst travelling anyway. And the fact that I manage to have any sort of love life or sex life is almost miraculous.<br />
<br />
The only activity that I do on a regular basis is church. Sunday mornings are the only thing close to a regular free slot, and even then I do work on Sundays occasionally anyway. So I would count church as a hobby, "<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif-light, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 14.1818180084229px;">an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure", </span>as well as my faith, religion and a social event. I get a lot out of it, I miss it when I can't do it, and because I sing the choir, it has some level of improving a skill.<br />
<br />
The only other thing I see as hobby in my life is my interest in my sexuality. To be more specific, my interest in the experience of bisexuals, the changing understanding of what it means to be a bisexual, the way bisexuals are seen and treated in the world, and beyond that the implications on gender, and the changing understanding of gender and biological sex.<br />
<br />
I'm not a fanatic hobbyist. As you, dear reader, know, I don't keep up this blog with any efficiency, nor my erratic attempts at Youtube videos. At best, I keep abreast of LGBT related news, discuss things like "is the soul gendered?" with friends, and I'm generally vocal about being bisexual in a sort of understated flag-waving way.<br />
<br />
The point of this post is it's interesting, and seen as a little bit odd, to deem one's sexuality as a hobby, even to the low level with which I am involved. Such a personal part of my identity is somewhat private anyway, so to toe the line of talking about my sexuality without delving into the details of what I get up with whom - which is a breach of trust with said partners - is a tricky situation to be in. For me, it's more of an interest that I dip into when I can. Is it narcissistic? Is it just wanting to talk about myself and learn about myself? I think that's part of it. But it's not the route cause of calling my sexuality a hobby.<br />
<br />
As I said in my list above, my interest is broader than my own personal sexuality. It is beyond psychology, into sociology and anthropology. That includes my general desire to make the world a better place for bisexuals, because I'm lucky enough that it doesn't bother me a lot in my life, so I have a duty to do what I can from my position of privilege to work on behalf of those less fortunate to improve their lives and prevent others from suffering in the first place. My hobby, as in the activity, is bringing it up in conversation, being proactively 'out', calling people out of biphobia, sharing posts about bisexuality on social media, consuming material written and made about bisexuality, even signing petitions that are relevant to improving the world we live in for bisexuals and other minorities that do not conform to social gender expectations.<br />
<br />
That said, it's still only my hobby. It's not my crusade. I'm in awe of those who dedicate so much time and effort into the cause, but I would not want to be one of them. It's an odd place this middle ground. I feel a kind of sense of guilt that I don't do more, but I do feel I at least do something, and right now, I don't feel in a position to do more.<br />
<br />
People find it a little strange. It is a little strange. But if my minor involvement in the bisexual community, my nudge here and complaint there IRL against biphobia, my rambling blog posts that appear at odd and prolonged intervals - if both I and other people get something out of that (and from messages and comments in response to posts and videos, other people do) then it's a great hobby. I can't help it if some people don't want to talk about the complicated and fascinating way humanity falls in love, has sex, and deals with relationships - I do. And I think the world would be in a better place if it wasn't hushed up under an cover of propriety and the myth of spontaneity, this pedestal on which organic romantic and sexual relationships have been put, as if anyone has any idea what they are doing until they learn what others have done before them, to then work out what is right for them. Talk about love, talk about sex, get educated, spread ideas, communicate with the people you have relationships with.<br />
<br />
That is why my sexuality is my hobby and I don't care if it's weird, I enjoy it, others do too, and I think we're having a small but positive impact on making the world just a little bit better.Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-90408429230687624432015-07-31T18:29:00.000+01:002015-07-31T18:29:01.404+01:00Bi Visibility Day 2015 Thunderclap<div class="media" style="background-color: white; border: 1px solid rgb(191, 191, 191); color: #333333; display: inline-block; line-height: 16.0030002593994px; margin: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding: 10px; text-align: center; width: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://j-applebee.tumblr.com/image/125504178683" style="color: #6ca516; display: block; outline: none; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="bivisibilityday:
http://www.bivisibilityday.com/tweet/Two visibility-boosting tweets to sign up to for September 23rd, whatever you call it - Bi Visibility Day / International Celebrate Bisexuality Day / Bi Pride / I’m Gonna Be Wearing Pink Purple And Blue Day
" src="http://1.1.1.3/bmi/40.media.tumblr.com/8e628dfb3f1c97b29051a95378e60747/tumblr_nsceuwV1ti1tkfyyco1_500.jpg" style="border: 0px; display: block; vertical-align: bottom;" /></a><a href="http://www.bivisibilityday.com/tweet/" style="line-height: 18px;">http://www.bivisibilityday.com/tweet/</a><a href="http://j-applebee.tumblr.com/image/125504178683" style="color: #6ca516; display: block; outline: none; text-decoration: none;"><b style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></b></a><a href="http://j-applebee.tumblr.com/image/125504178683" style="color: #6ca516; display: block; outline: none; text-decoration: none;"><b style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Two visibility-boosting tweets to sign up to for September 23rd, </b><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">whatever you call it - Bi Visibility Day / International Celebrate Bisexuality Day / Bi Pride / I’m Gonna Be Wearing Pink Purple And Blue Day</span></a></span></div>
<div class="caption hasMarkup" style="background-color: white; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div style="line-height: 18px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333;">Click </span><a href="https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/29455-it-s-bi-visibility-day-2015" style="color: #333333;" target="_blank">here </a><span style="color: #333333;">to auto-tweet in morning in the UK</span> (<span style="-webkit-appearance: none; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24.3199996948242px; text-align: center;">9:30AM BST) </span>and <a href="https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/29478-bi-visibility-day-americas" target="_blank">here </a>to auto-tweet in the morning in the US (11<span style="-webkit-appearance: none; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24.3199996948242px; text-align: center;">:00AM CDT - </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm doing both!).</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 18px;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Also start thinking about what you'll do with your day. Are you near any events? Can you get to further away events? Is there anyone you would like to invite/go with to an event? Listings here </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.bivisibilityday.com/year2015/">http://www.bivisibilityday.com/year2015/</a> which will fill up with details as the day draws nearer. Good tip from this page - be aware of Jewish friends holding Yom Kippur on 23/9 this year.</span></span><br />
<div style="line-height: 18px;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 18px;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I generally only have time for a Facebook/Twitter spree, which friends tell me is quite positive action - flood your feed with stuff and even with FB's algorithms, something gets through to everyone. As long as it's not in your face or angsty, no one wants that in quantity on a day of celebration. I try and paint my nails, wear my "Keep Calm It's A Bisexual" tee shirt, rainbow pin on my coat, and just find ways to mention it in conversation whether at work on socialising.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 18px;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 18px;">
<img alt="s23 bis everywhere woody" src="http://1.1.1.2/bmi/www.bivisibilityday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/s23-bis-everywhere-woody.jpg" /></div>
</div>
Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-76408428092689360762014-10-15T09:51:00.001+01:002014-10-15T09:51:51.498+01:00Being a young bisexualSince I started reading up on bisexuality and getting involved with the online community, it was impossible not to become aware of the great history and legacy that led up to 14yr old me starting this blog in 2007, having realised and accepted my bisexuality seamlessly and without hassle. That would have been an unlikely scenario in the year I was born, 1992.<br />
<br />
I have a lot to thank older bisexuals for. I know they aren't going to like that term, but 23yr old bisexuals are older bisexuals to me! So it's a large group and of the ones I've met, there don't seem to be many bisexuals who act 'old' anyway, so I use the term out of respect that many bisexuals have been working so hard for decades before I was even a twinkle in my mother's eye, and meant I could eventually tell said mother of my swerve away from the norm and not get thrown out the house immediately.<br />
<br />
The stalwarts of the community and pioneers of our campaign for awareness, equality and respect amaze me when I look back at all they have done, and are still doing. The reason for this post is that I was struck by how young I am with only 7yrs involvement when I came across the Bisexual Manifesto. I clicked the link thinking "Oh my God, we have a <i>manifesto??</i>" As a stage manager, the sheer organisation alone was inspiring. And then I read it.<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;">
<b>The 1990 Bisexual Manifesto</b></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;">
We are tired of being analyzed, defined and represented by people other than ourselves, or worse yet, not considered at all. We are frustrated by the imposed isolation and invisibility that comes from being told or expected to choose either a homosexual or heterosexual identity.<br /><br />Monosexuality is a heterosexist dictate used to oppress homosexuals and to negate the validity of bisexuality.<br /><br />Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have <i>"two"</i> sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders. Do not mistake our fluidity for confusion, irresponsibility, or an inability to commit. Do not equate promiscuity, infidelity, or unsafe sexual behavior with bisexuality. Those are human traits that cross all sexual orientations. Nothing should be assumed about anyone’s sexuality, including your own.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;">
<span style="color: #222222;">We are angered by those who refuse to accept our existence; our issues; our contributions; our alliances; our voice. It is time for the bisexual voice to be heard. -</span> From the wealth of knowledge that is the <a href="http://bialogue-group.tumblr.com/post/17532147836/atm1990-bisexualmanifesto" style="text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Bialogue Tumblr</a> (original attribution: the historic <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bay_Area_Bisexual_Network" style="text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Bay Area Bisexual Network</a> publication <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anything_That_Moves" style="text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Anything That Moves</a>)</blockquote>
<br />
And all my inspiration and pride deflated slightly, as I thought "24 years later, and not a lot has changed." However, the one thing that can be said as a positive over two decades later is our voices are being heard. There are more of us speaking, we're louder, we're in the White House for pity's sake, and whilst we're only inching our way to true change, we seem to have got <i>somewhere.</i> For example, my friends' responses to my intense Celebrate Bisexuality Day Facebook output, and my less intense but still visible Bi Awareness Week Facebook contributions, were all positive.<br />
<br />
Sure we still have to make a lot of noise, A LOT, to finally be heard, but our strike rate seems to have gone up. So I stand behind this manifesto because it represents part of a wave that I am part of now when it is bigger and stronger than it was then.Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-10483298798775561962014-09-24T20:41:00.001+01:002014-09-24T20:41:47.914+01:00My Bisexual Story: 14-22yrs old, The VideoFor today's BiWeek hashtag (#BiMedia) and also as as contribution to the Bi+ Story Project (<a href="http://www.bistoryproject.org/">www.bistoryproject.org</a>) here is my story. You've probably seen or read a lot of the information before, but I've been a bit more succinct this time!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/IUaxVVama1M?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-43892116468529134362014-09-23T09:32:00.001+01:002014-09-23T09:32:51.661+01:00BiVisibility - love not hateMy love is like anyone else's love. Being a minority, we can be seen - and also see ourselves - as intrinsically different. That's not an unusual phenomenon, because everyone wants to be special. But we're asking the haters to realise that there truly are more than two boxes (straight or gay) so why should we go against our own advice, and try and live in the world that we want, rather than the reality that we live in?<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm not trying to accuse anyone of egotism or narcissism, nor am I disparaging the great work that bi activists have done for decades, flying our flag and making our voices heard. The work must continue; on this Bi Visibility Day 2014, we have every duty to be loud and proud (if we want to, and if we're in circumstances where it will not lead to harmful consequences) I don't disagree with that. But I want to take this opportunity to remind us to not get caught up in our own hysteria and start thinking of the bisexual community as superior.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Not many do. Sure, there are militant bisexuals who take it too far, but there aren't many of them, and we need to keep it that way. It is a great temptation, to me as much as any other person under the bisexual umbrella, to feel smug at my liberal and progressive gender knowledge/opinions; to scoff at ignorant plebs who still work on the gender binary system; to feel intense hate towards those who will not listen and spread suffering among the LGBT people that I love as my extended family.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But my love is like anyone else's love. Yes, there are polyamorous lovers, asexual lovers, and aromantics, plus a whole host of people who you could say technically love differently to me personally. What I mean is that I am a human being, and complex as I am, every other human being is just as complex, and more importantly, every other human being is worth no more and no less than me. So I have no right to feel smug, to scoff, or to hate - in fact, if being bisexual is a core part of my identity, and so if the way I love is so important, I am betraying myself by hating anyone or anything. It's not just unhelpful and nasty, its unbisexual.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Today is a day to celebrate. Take today's joy and love and carry it through the difficult times, and don't give into hate.</div>
Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-35848492331501658442014-09-02T14:43:00.001+01:002014-09-26T16:18:55.661+01:00LGBT at a Christian festivalOuterspace is the LGBT organisation at the Greenbelt Festival, an annual festival that started as Christian music in 1974, and has turned into an ecumenical and interfaith celebration of arts, faith and justice. I went to Greenbelt for the first time last year on the coat tails of my rector who was speaking in one of the debates. It was only for a day, and not being one of those young people who enjoys rock concerts or festivals, I wasn't really sure how to 'do' a festival, so I enjoyed myself but left feeling like I hadn't really seen a lot.<br />
<br />
This year, on the tip of a friend at church, I applied for an internship with the events company hired by the Greenbelt charity to put up, manage, and take down the site. This meant spending three weeks stuck on an estate in the arse end of the middle of nowhere (but don't get me wrong, it was gloriously beautiful <a href="http://www.boughtonhouse.co.uk/boughton-estate/">http://www.boughtonhouse.co.uk/boughton-estate/</a>), and during the four days of the festival itself [the August Bank Holiday] I experienced as much as possible of the music, arts, debates, talks, and worship that was put on outside of my shift hours.<br />
<br />
Professionally and spiritually, I felt inspired and enriched. But I was a little blindsided by how much I was affected personally in my experience of the LGBT events put on be Outerspace. I had googled whether there was anything LGBT at the festival and resolved to go to the Outerspace stall. It was when I was there that I was delighted to find several LGBT events taking place as well.<br />
<br />
There was a interesting debate about marriage, and how the church is dealing with it. It was a little sad to hear one of the participants advocating a third option to add the choices of marriage and celibacy, and seeming to be under the illusion that he was advocating something fair and just, when in fact his ideas were plain suggestions for inequality. There was a conversation about the general state of LGBT issues in Christianity, followed by lovely worship that included various LGBT Christians sharing their stories. The much acclaimed Rev Andrew Cain spoke of being the first ordained priest in the CofE to marry his husband after the UK instigated the marriage bill in April, and being stripped of his licence to minister; and a woman spoke of meeting another woman, falling in love, and feeling a call to marriage, but realising that she had to choose between that call and her call to ministry and ordination - she chose the latter and they are now civilly partnered as she starts her training. They sang an a cappella two part harmony duet version of Down By the River to Pray, and whilst the singing was gorgeous, it was the glances at each other that tugged at my heart strings.<br />
<br />
These were all wonderful, but it was one other event that hit me to my core. At 10pm on the Saturday, one of the small venue marquees filled up with people, and so began the Outerspace Eucharist. It started with a quick introduction to Outerspace, and then there was an invitation to those who, since Greenbelt last year, had had an anniversary, gotten engaged/civilly partnered/married, or come out to stand up so we could celebrate with them. I was surprised and elated to see a member of my own home congregation stand up at the call for those who had come out; I made sure I went over to him at the peace and gave him a great big hug.<br />
<br />
It was a solid Anglican service after that, barring the rainbow altar cloth and rainbow stole on the gay priest. His sermon made me cry. I don't remember all of it - I think it was mostly about how we're slowly getting to a good place with the church and we need to keep going - but he ended by holding up a piece of yellow paper. He said he had been tidying around the Outerspace stall earlier that day, and found it on the floor, and upon reading it, immediately wanted to send it to every bishop in the CofE, with a note saying something along the lines of "In regards to how you treat LGBT people and issues in the church, read and take note." He then explained that it was a child's wordsearch, and the theme was 'Tips For Keeping Friends'. And he read out the list of words to find in a quiet, measured tone, and it was this that brought me to tears.<br />
<br />
Be supportive<br />
Be encouraging<br />
Don't tease or belittle<br />
Cooperate<br />
Compromise<br />
Be considerate<br />
Talk openly about disagreements<br />
Apologise when you've done something wrong<br />
Listen to each other<br />
Give each other a compliment<br />
Be dependable<br />
Respect each other<br />
Be trustworthy<br />
Care about each other<br />
<div>
<div>
<br />
(see the wordsearch here: <a href="http://inclusive-church.org.uk/sites/default/files/files/wordsearch.pdf">http://inclusive-church.org.uk/sites/default/files/files/wordsearch.pdf</a>)<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
We try and teach our children to be good people and good citizens, and this list may seem simplistic in the face of the complex theological, scriptural, religious, philosophical, and sociological arguments about being LGBT in Christianity. But we cannot let the gumpf and fluster make us forget the simple truths we learnt as children in how to treat each other. The preacher was right when he pointed out that it sometimes feels like that has been lost in the conversation, and this needs to be fixed.</div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I've been lucky to not meet people who disapprove of my orientation. I have been blessed to find a church that not just accepts me, but welcomes me and even celebrates me! And I have 'known' that there's Christian support for LGBT people outside of my church as well. But at Greenbelt, I was overcome by the realisation that it was the first time I had truly believed it, because I experienced it, I saw it, and heard it, and my cup runneth over with the support and joy of Christians for LGBT people on a grand scale. It was heart-warming and inspired great hope for the future.</div>
Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-54274756345700238472014-06-29T22:40:00.001+01:002014-06-29T22:40:24.678+01:00Pride in London 2014Yes, this is the obligatory post about my day at Pride in London. Didn't do one last year, so I'm going to do one this year. Yes, every LGBT blog does one, but hey, Pride's important, and every year I have a different experience.<br />
<br />
I go with my church, who join in with Christians Together at Pride, which also has Catholics, Quakers, Baptists, and Methodists, among others. I see the same people each year in the purple "Christian & Proud" t-shirts, and sometimes new faces. The Christian group is usually about 60 people I'd say, and we're normally in the same region as the Muslim group (see <a href="http://thebisexualbangladeshi.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/opinion-notes-on-pride-2014.html" target="_blank">this blog</a> post about an incident that happened while we were all lined up waiting), the Humanist group, and the Jewish group.<br />
<br />
We had 8 people turn up at the church, and we made our way to the meeting point. The most exciting thing for me was I got to see <a href="http://www.libertychurchblackpool.org.uk/newsletter.htm" target="_blank">Big Jesus</a>, who I had heard would be joining us. A church in Blackpool have made this massive Jesus wearing a traditional robe and a not so traditional rainbow sash, that stands on a scaffold on someone's shoulders and joins the parade, with independent arms that two other people control. During the parade, he was waving, blowing kisses, giving hi-fives, it was awesome! Who doesn't love a massive, home-made Jesus?! There were also badges being handed out that said "Justice for Jeremy" which refers to <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/apr/13/gay-marriage-church-of-england-chaplain-jeremy-pemberton" target="_blank">this historic incident</a> which was followed by <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jun/22/second-priest-defies-church-of-england-same-sex-marriage" target="_blank">this one</a>.<br />
<br />
We headed to Baker St, and eventually found our spot. Our church rolled out our banner, and I wore our rainbow flag as a sarong. It went well with my rainbow nails, and my make-up; I didn't have face paint, but using lipstick, eyeshadow, and eye-liner, I draw on and coloured in a stars and swirls design encircling my face and going down onto my neck. I had big earrings as well, but it wasn't all girly - I also wore my Timberlands, because I wanted to, and no one gave a damn about gender expression. Obviously.<br />
<br />
It started to rain, and very rarely stopped for the rest of the day. Plus we were stuck. We arrived at 12, the front set off at 1, we moved at 2.15. But we're British, so essentially queuing in the rain was no problemo. I felt sorry for they guy wearing Big Jesus, that thing must have gained serious weight from water-logging. I had a brolly (I am a stage manager, always be prepared) so it was fine, and we did eventually move off.<br />
<br />
There weren't quite as many crowds, because we were near the back and it was raining, but it was a lot of fun. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. But by gum was it tiring. By the time we got to tea and cake at the Quakers meeting house, I was cream crackered. I went home, took off the face, and did my grocery shopping.<br />
<br />
The most inspiring thing for me was seeing the joy of my friend who was part of my church group. It was his first time in a Pride parade, and he was almost gleeful. "I want as much tat as possible!" It was heart warming, and shows just how important pride events are even on a personal level. There was also a friend of a friend who came, who balked as we lined up, and went to disappear into the crowds rather than marching with everyone watching. Because for every man, woman and those in between in that parade, there were thousands like him who cannot feel comfortable being so open about who they are. For him, it was an acute suffering, as he is from a country that culturally and legally is very hostile towards LGBT.<br />
<br />
Today, my church also had a combined feast day - St Peter and LGBT Pride. The rainbow flag was on the altar, the banner was hung up where our ten commandments are supposed to go, and I wore my rainbow pin on my alb (white robe) whilst serving. Our 'sermon' was one of the LGBT group interviewing a member of the Open and Proud Diamonds group, a UK charity that give support to LGBT refugees and asylum seekers from Africa. And my enthusiastic friend wrote the prayers, but he was unwell this morning, so I read them. It was agreed by all to have been a wonderful service, with extra cake and sweets donated by members of the group to accompany the tea afterwards.<br />
<br />
I love being part of LGBT stuff. I have had a great weekend. And I feel Proud to be a bisexual.Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-13696643200084416242014-02-17T12:03:00.000+00:002014-07-17T23:18:05.262+01:00Part of the family<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I've just finished working on a show with people I have taken to calling our rainbow team ie. the core few people I've been working with within a bigger team are all queer in one way or another.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And of course our sexualities didn't come up in conversation a lot [even when working in theatre it generally doesn't] but just knowing that if I did bring it up, the people around me would know, acknowledge and further what I was talking about, which did happen on occasion; and knowing that I wasn't a minority on my own (as we were still a minority in the wider team) - it felt wonderful.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It was simply lovely, similar to the feeling I get in a gay club or when I'm in or watching a pride parade, a feeling similar to that of family - affection, solidarity, pride, understanding, support. But it was different because it was under everything; our queerness wasn't the main focus of the activity, and we rarely talked about it, because we were getting on with the job, but it wasn't quashed. It wasn't hidden or ignored. It was just there and not a big deal.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I do feel that it's not a big deal with straight friends and coworkers as well (except those that don't pick up or simply forget that I'm bi). It's a feeling akin to acceptance, I think. However, the novelty is being in essentially a queer environment without it being the main reason we are together, and still being tangibly aware of it. LGBT meetings are great, but it is encouraging to find I can get that feeling of solidarity in a 'real life' context as well.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I've always liked being with other queers, just like I enjoy being with my family. Working on this production was like putting on a wedding - the purpose is the marriage of two people (putting on a performance), and it involves a ceremony and a reception (a rehearsed staging and first night party), and logistics like clothes (costume), venue (theatre) and decor (set and props); but doing all the planning and execution around the main event [that can sometimes be dull or a lot of time/effort!] with people you feel a connection to makes it more than bearable; it can at times be as fun as the event itself eg. a shopping trip for clothes becomes enjoyable if you have a parent and/or close friends along to do it with you, and a lengthy conversation about scheduling is made easier if you have something in common with your director.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Hopefully that simile shows that they are similar contexts, with similar results. Feeling closer to my team through our shared queerness enhanced the trust we built in our relationships whilst working to put on a show. Sure, you can't get over major arguments or personality clashes just by being connected - that's why Aunty Margaret has to be seated the other end of the marquee to her sister who she's had a feud with for 20years - but hastening the familiarity meant more honest, frank, and I suppose just more grown up conversations (and Aunty Margaret kept her promise and didn't throw wine in her sister's face. After all, she's still her sister.)</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I will admit I started writing this post on the way home from the wrap party, so if it doesn't make sense, blame the gin!</span></div>
Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-21359059495908681992014-01-12T21:16:00.000+00:002014-01-20T11:01:22.965+00:00Why are homos and heteros scared of bisexual adultery?One of the many classic reasons given by heteros and homos as to why they don't want to date someone who is bisexual is that they would be scared of the bisexual cheating on them or leaving them for someone of the opposite gender to themselves.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And it confuses the shit out of me. Not just the frustrating assumptions behind it that we can't be satisfied with only one gender; that we need both, must have both, and probably at the same time, or we're somehow going to spend our entire lives having threesomes, or at least sleeping with one person of each gender at all times (which to ignorant people means 1 man and 1 woman), or even that we by necessity are all polyamorous, and the only way to be happy is a three person couple.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Not just that. It hurts, like all biphobia, because it makes me feel like I am automatically untrustworthy. Why should who I am attracted to have any bearing on the kind of person I am? I'm a good person! There are cheaters, and there are faithful partners, and neither group is delineated along the lines of orientation. If I'm the kind of person who wants a monogamous, long-term relationship, and eventually marriage, the genders of the celebrities on my personal Hot List are irrelevant to my likelihood of cheating/leaving my partner for someone else.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It also seems illogical. Who cares what gender my partner has cheated on me with/is leaving me for, that bastard has betrayed me, replaced me, broken trust, probably lied to me, and disrespected me! My girlfriend sleeps with/runs off with a man, it is not going to hurt any more or any less than if she had slept with/run off with a woman. Even the thought of this non-existent girlfriend cheating on me hurts a little bit; the image of someone's hand, anyone's hand, touching the body that I - hypothetically - loved, caressed, cared for, and centred my world around - how could it hurt more, simply because it was Craig and not Carol? The girlfriend would be gone, my heart would be broken, and I would hate the person they slept with equally if it was Craig OR Carol.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So why do some homos and heteros feel differently? I genuinely don't understand. Sure, someone of a different gender to you can give your partner different things. But obviously so can someone of the same gender as you, otherwise why do homos and heteros cheat on their partners with people the same gender as their partner? (Hopefully that sentence makes sense). If your partner has cheated on you/is leaving you for someone else, you have been inadequate or something has been wrong; it is not your gender. It's you, or it's them, but it's probably both of you, two individuals with unique lives, with a broken relationship. Don't blame their bloody orientation - you're sidestepping the issue.<br />
<br />
And don't be scared of entering a relationship with a bisexual. The relationship will work or will break, based on how the two of you work together, and how much effort you both put into the relationship.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-72031253421884818272013-12-12T13:37:00.001+00:002013-12-12T13:37:25.443+00:00Getting bi amongst the gays<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(I'm going to apologise right now for the over-used pun in the title of this post, but to be fair, I don't think I have ever used it on this blog before, so it's almost like doing my duty to let it appear just once).</i></span><br />
<br />
Regulars to this blog will remember that I watch the daily vlogs of Will and RJ, who are a couple <span style="font-family: inherit;">"<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/shep689/about">demonstrating just how normal gay life can be</a>". The reason I've brought it up in the past, and I bring it up again, is that RJ identifies as a bisexual man (see <a href="http://iamabisexual.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/bi-guy-and-straight-guy-sit-on-sofa.html">previous post</a>).</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">Unsurprisingly, they regularly hang out with a social group that consists of gay men, and whenever they film a group situation, there often references in the footage to 'all the gays in the room' or 'that's what we gays do' or similar, you get the idea. I have mixed feelings about the fact that RJ goes along with it, and sometimes he's even the one who says it.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><b>On the one hand...</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">RJ is in a MM, long-term, committed relationship and hanging out with people he cares about who are all gay men, including his fiancee. It is a gay setting, and no one is denying his bisexuality by including him in the plural noun 'gays'. No one is calling him gay specifically, nor does anyone have malicious intent of any kind by using the term (though I cannot speak for any individuals who might of a private opinion that often occurs in gay men that RJ is in fact gay and should stop calling himself bisexual. Probably none of them think that, and as a viewer I've never seen anything that explicitly indicates any of them think that, but I wanted to acknowledge that it was a possibility); it's just a cultural reference because he is involved in that culture, and it is a method in maintaining their friendship bond by emphasising their commonality.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">It would be annoying and awkward to demand that everyone always acknowledge that he is not attracted to just men; off the top of my head, I don't know how that would even work, referring to 'the gays and RJ' or 'the gays and bi men' - it would be odd and difficult to say 'that's would we do' and have the 'we' meaning both gay and bi men, especially as, despite a lot they often have in common, they are actually different. I'm sure it would feel like RJ wanted attention, to seem special, which obviously it wouldn't be. And it would potentially put up a barrier by emphasising their differences.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">RJ seems comfortable with it - he has chosen to support the general banner of defending same-sex love, and has never indicated he is interested in the specifics of the bisexual battle against prejudice, which is a perfectly fine choice to make, as would the choice to not do anything and just get on with life. There is no onus on bisexuals to put effort into waving the bisexual flag.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><b>On the other hand...</b></span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 18px;">It makes me uncomfortable, and I think that's because I would not like to be included in any reference to 'us lesbians' because yes, I do identify with the LGBT community as a whole, but not 'lesbian' or 'gay'. If I was to get extreme, RJ is accepting and perpetuating bi-erasure. Putting a bit of thought into it, surely an alternative such as 'all the queers in the room' or 'that's would us LGBT lot do', or similar is a lot more inclusive and not rendering invisible any orientations present. Also over-used are racial/gender comparisons, but it is true that if you had a mixed gender group, it wouldn't seem like a special allowance to refrain from talking about 'us gents', 'we women', etc, and using neutral terms like 'guys' or even 'us lot'. I feel that we need to get into that inclusive way of thinking with LGBT language as well.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><b>So...</b></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 18px;">As I said, I have mixed feelings, and I can see both sides. I would not suggest that RJ take some sort of stand with his group; like I said, he seems absolutely fine with the playful banter of his friends, and I have noticed that when he's vlogging alone or just with Will, he refers to 'LGBT' when he means more than just gay men, so I'm reassured that it is likely he is not victim to internal biphobia; and everything seems cool within the group.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;">He's established how it operates with them, and I have established how I operate in my social group, and we've simply got different styles. My friends have developed inclusive language for our group interactions to the point where it's almost second nature, and that makes me content, because I feel acknowledged as present and involved, and also reassured that they are aware of the wider LGBT community and their separate issues; and because I get the impression (and hopefully I'm right) that they have no problem with it as they think it's the right thing to do too. I would hope that if they had felt it was annoying that they would have told me, and I think our friendships (plus the fact that they know that I deal happily with directness) are such that they would feel they could bring it up with me.</span><br />
<span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="line-height: 18px;">Big picture, I think it's an indicator of how the 21st Century English-speaking world is struggling to deal with the great changes in sexuality and gender knowledge, awareness, and attitudes using an outdated vocabulary.</span>Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-13362664620288288822013-11-29T21:38:00.000+00:002013-11-29T21:38:08.657+00:00The Pilling Report - A bisexual perspectiveThe Church of England published today a report commissioned in January 2012, named <span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.5625px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Report of the House of Bishops Working Group on Human Sexuality. </i>Many news agencies are trumpeting the news that it contains recommendations that </span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">"there can be circumstances where a priest, with the agreement of the relevant parochial church council, should be free to mark the formation of a permanent same-sex relationship in a public service but should be under no obligation to do so."</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Exciting as this may be, it was when I was perusing the CofE's official news item on its website (</span></span><a href="http://www.churchofengland.org/media-centre/news/2013/11/pilling-report-published.aspx">http://www.churchofengland.org/media-centre/news/2013/11/pilling-report-published.aspx</a>) that I came upon this sentence -<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16.5625px;"> "</span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.5625px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It warmly welcomes and affirms the presence and ministry within the church of gay and lesbian people both lay and ordained."</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.5625px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.5625px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Oh here we go, I thought. Where are the bisexuals please?</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.5625px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 16.5625px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So I am going to search the report (PDF: </span></span><a href="http://www.churchofengland.org/media/1891063/pilling_report_gs_1929_web.pdf">http://www.churchofengland.org/media/1891063/pilling_report_gs_1929_web.pdf</a>) for the word 'bisexual' and write notes here as I go (I haven't the time to read through the whole thing, thought I wish I could).<br />
<br />
1. First mention is in the classic LGBT list in paragraph 32 on page 6. Not a good start.<br />
2. Same again in par. 41<br />
3. Ooh, quoting stats now. 2012 British survey by Office of National statistics - 0.4% identified as bisexual. Unsurprising that, seeing as it is misunderstood, marginalised, and discriminated against by straight, gay and lesbian people!<br />
4. OMG they've raised their game, I'm impressed! The next paragraph is actually quite rational and reassuring: <i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">These data give a combined total of 1.5% of the adult population that self identifies as homosexual or bisexual...only gives a snapshot of those who self-identified in this way when the survey was taken. It does not take into account those with a degree of same sex attraction who chose not to identify as homosexual or bisexual, those who would have identified as homosexual or bisexual in the the past but who no longer chose to do so, or those who did not identify as homosexual or bisexual at the times of the survey, but might go on to do so in the future.</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">5. </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Par. 199 acknowledges that sexual fluidity is probably a thing! </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Again, surprised and pleased at the level of knowledge show. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">6. FOLLOWED BY THIS AMAZING PARAGRAPH: <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Rather than thinking about the human population in terms of a </i></span></span><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">fixed binary division between two sets of people, those who are straight </i><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">and those who are gay, it seems that we need to accept that while there is a </i><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">large majority of people who only ever experience heterosexual attraction </i><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">and a smaller number who only experience homosexual attraction, there is </i><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">also a significant minority of people who either experience some form of </i><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">bisexual attraction or who move between heterosexual and homosexual </i><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">attraction at some point or points in their life.</i><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">7. And back to being part of the LGB/T list.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">8. Interesting phrase "bisexual and same sex attractions" in par. 418. What are bisexual attractions?? I think they've gone too far with trying to use inclusive language. But good on them for trying!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">9. OOH Par. 419 points out that we're well beyond just dealing with homosexuality and homophobia! Yay.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">10. "</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What...would the Church of </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">England say to someone...</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">who says they identify as </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">gay or lesbian or <u>(increasingly likely)</u> as bisexual..." Interesting.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">11. Oh, mention of those bisexual attractions again, quite a few times.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">12. And finishing back in the LGBT list.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Wow, okay, that is encouraging. Amazing that the investigation really stuck into the nature of sexuality, an understanding of which is, I believe, crucial. I think it is that education, </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">above all,</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">that has enlightened the writers and led to their recommendations of progress and improvement. Small steps, but my Church might just be on the right track after all!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.</span>Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-44383246129904441232013-11-16T10:38:00.002+00:002013-11-16T10:38:48.382+00:00New place, new people, how/when to drop the B bombI am currently on a work placement. To pass my degree, I have to do a minimum 4 weeks at a place of work related to my course/career (usually a theatre or theatre company) and the ideal is that each student finds their own placement ie goes job hunting without the scary part. Nice idea, right?<br />
<br />
I was very lucky on a recent project to meet a member of the stage management team of a well-known theatre company whose latest show is currently running in London, and through that contact secured 6 weeks with the show. I'm just coming to the mid-way point as I type, and I've mostly been with stage management, but I've also been with the production management, design, and lighting teams.<br />
<br />
I have yet to use the word 'bisexual'. And I feel bad about it. The question is whether I should feel bad, whether there was an onus to on me to come out early on, make it clear and obvious (but not in a way that shoves it down people's throats. We wouldn't want that) to which I have somehow not lived up. Because I have no idea if any of the people that I have met, got to know, and worked with over the last three weeks have any idea that I'm bisexual, and I suppose I want them to know.<br />
<br />
[Oh no, I can already see this post getting self-psychoanalytical... Bear with me, I'm sure there'll be a point somewhere along the line.]<br />
<br />
I can tell you that I've tried, attempted to spread the word. Just today in fact, I was talking about my hair, how it refuses to be anything but straight, "which is ironic, because I'm not straight" I said. Seems quite a neat trick to getting it out there, or at least, that's what I thought. I was irritated that none of the three assistant stage managers with me within the small, dark box room hidden on set questioned this statement. Similarly, at another time, I mentioned the project I just finished, and upon being asked to explain further, I told of the LGBT nature of the research. And again, no comment was made to clarify my own orientation.<br />
<br />
I can tell you. I'm disturbed that my reaction of disappointment shows an unconscious desire for drama and intrigue about my orientation - I'm pretty sure this stems from my pride being hurt, which I do not like to realise about myself; compared to how I feel consciously and objectively, which is that I want interest, as opposed to intrigue, and no drama.<br />
<br />
I haven't talked about much else that's personal with them, we haven't reached that stage in our working relationships; plus I am here on a temporary basis, and establishing deeper friendships is unlikely to occur in this situation. So it does seem like communicating that I'm bisexual is unnecessary, the same as my love of Disney, and how I schedule my meals.<br />
<br />
But it's an integral part of who I am, especially how I interact with people - I'm a very flirtatious person, I really enjoy being flirty even with people I have no intentions on, and obviously I flirt with people of all genders, so surely giving that interaction some sort of context will improve things. I have my cross round my neck at all times to express my Christianity, which puts things like anecdotes I might tell from church into a context that negates the need to extra exposition. But I have nothing like that for my bisexuality.<br />
<br />
And yes, it would be irritating as hell if I constantly had a bisexual flag pinned to my chest every day. Religion is one thing, something that influences all aspects of my thought process, behaviour, and decision making, but orientation involves personal relationships, and sex, and all sorts of things that don't actually have an impact on most other parts of life, especially at work.<br />
<br />
As you can see, I'm of two minds on this one; objectively, revealing my orientation would be helpful, but it is not necessary, but emotionally, it feels like hiding, like dishonesty, and I suspect people not knowing (or at least, not knowing if people know or not) affects my behaviour and interactions. Should be letting it get to me, or should I be more laid about about it? I don't know.Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-19236297947024906732013-11-01T13:38:00.001+00:002013-11-01T13:38:58.825+00:00My coming out as bisexual - this time as a videoThere is already a post I wrote about my coming out somewhere in the archive of this blog, but I've been meaning to post it as a video on Youtube for sometime, and I finally got round to it!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/zi7Oy8Lw-M0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-67364792729814090632013-09-14T00:36:00.003+01:002013-09-14T00:36:59.373+01:00Tell me it gets betterI watch a lot of Youtube, it's part of my daily life. Today, one of my regular shows (shep689) recommended a coming out video, which I dutifully clicked to and watched.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It has invoked such a depressing reaction that I need to reach out for some support, guys. It was a young, Australian gay man telling his story. After going through the part about coming out to friends, mother, college, father, the gay man in the video starts using the phrase 'it gets better', and for the first time of hearing that (having heard it many times before, of course) I realised that it actually applied to me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I don't feel like I'm in a place with my sexuality to testify to the fact; one thing stands in my way - my parents. For over half my life, the only people who understood me were my parents. Apart from two exceptions, it took me until 16years old to find other people who completely got me, totally took me for who I was and loved me for it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now I'm here; I know who I am and I love myself. It all makes sense to me and I know my place in this world as a queer, bisexual, cisgendered woman, with mostly-feminine-but tendency-towards-some-masculine self-expression. I have surrounded myself with people who I care for deeply who also know me and love me on this level.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But now, my parents don't understand. And they seem to think that because their world is cisgendered heterosexual, they have no need to see me as anything but a blip in that world. And I've never been a blip in their world before! They've always shifted their world around me to include exactly who I am as a totally integrated part of that world (it's the same with my brother, I'm not being egotistical, I'm pointing out this is their way of parenting, and I've always thought them great parents) but I don't feel integrated any more.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It hurts. It's upsetting. It doesn't feel right. As much as I don't think they mean it to be, it is a rejection. I suppose it is made worse that I'm not just living a bisexual life, I am engaging with my sexuality beyond romance (ie this blog, being head of the LGBT society, going to pride, etc). But that's not the part that hurts. I would get them leaving me to go about all that without them engaging with it, the same as they leave my brother to his fitness regime, diet and MMA (mixed martial arts - also known as ultimate fighting) training.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's the fact that I get the impression they think it shouldn't change how I live my life at all, that they see it as a weird thing, as if it isn't normal for who I am. That's it - I would understand bisexuality being weird to them because they don't know it, but they treat it as if it should be weird to me as well, making it a blip. Every other thing that I do, that I am, they accept as normal, whether it's unpopular, not average, unmainstream - to them, I am perfectly normal watching Disney films, going into a career in theatre, being close friends with a church community that it on average 40 years older than me, because that's who I am; but my sexuality being not-majority - that is apparently a strange thing for me to be doing, as it they expect me to stop at some point.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Thinking about it, I think they would react different to me being a lesbian. Lesbian is more normal to them, it's unusual by dint of being minority, but I think they would embrace me being lesbian. Bisexual is being weird for the sake of being weird. That's the impression I get. I've gone past the line of things I do that are weird that they can accept as just being me, and now it's-</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I don't know. I don't want to think that they think that ultimately I'm experimenting, rebelling, trying too hard, essentially identifying as bisexual simply to be different rather than it being fact. But they behaviour and their attitude seriously worries me to the point of suspecting that they might.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I don't think I'm being unreasonable in feeling rejected and betrayed. My relationship with them has been, on their side, a constant love of who I am and proactive welcoming of whatever unlike-the-majority characteristic I have shared with them. And the feeling that they just tolerate my bisexuality, that they don't understand how fundamental it is to who I am, that they don't feel like they need to understand more - you can't treat your child's sexual/romantic orientation the same as their interest in doing a sport.<br />
<br />
And talking of my brother's MMA, it's a good way to show how my parents treat me bisexuality, because it's pretty much the same, which, now I realise it, appalls me. To my parents, my brother wanting to be a professional MMA fighter is something he does with like minded people, that makes him happy, and they accept that <u>he sees it</u> as something that fits him to do. They will support him in what he chooses to do now, without knowing more than a rudimentary amount about what he does.<br />
<br />
Now, you might ask, Esme, why do you want your <i>parents</i> to know <b>more </b>than a rudimentary amount about your bisexuality? That implies you expect them to want to know all about your romantic life. But that's not what I mean. They treat my bisexuality as if they don't and can't know more than a rudimentary amount about what it is in life - they don't understand that it is in fact the same concept as my brother's heterosexuality, in terms of how parents understand their children's sexuality ie. to them, they assume a deep understanding of the social structures and norms that make up my brother's sexuality, and they assume only a rudimentary understanding of those things that make up mine, when it fact, because the only difference with mine is a wider gender pool of possible partners, they can understand it as the same as before they knew about they extra possibilities of partners.<br />
<br />
But they don't see it as deep, valuable, and ingrained like my brother's heterosexuality; it's almost like they think I'm pretending, just to be edgy.<br />
<br />
Urgh, you see why this video made me depressed? I still struggle with my parents - they don't take me sexuality seriously. And it doesn't feel like it's getting better. It upsets me that they also don't understand why I'm upset by their attitude - they think they're being accepting and loving, but they're doing it a distance, treating it like a fucking phase, a trend that will pass, and therefore does not need to be considered something to be integrated, it is a blip, inconsequential. But it's the characteristic that defines how I go about finding that one someone to combine with to make one life together til death - not inconsequential!<br />
<br />
Communication. Tell them how I feel. Yes, yes. But these are my parents - I'm not the responsible one in the relationship, I'm the child, and the parent-child relationship is heavily biased towards the parents' responsibility in relationship maintenance. Yet I also keep stum to maintain <i>their </i>happiness, because they would feel guilty that they're failing on the "how to deal with your child coming out as bi" score. Endless circles.<br />
<br />
Do the circles have an end? Will it get better?</div>
Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-80718684722837144442013-09-07T22:09:00.003+01:002014-10-04T11:45:59.285+01:00Does it feel weird being bisexual?The title of this post comes from my blog statistics. You may or may not know that Google like to collect lots and lots of stats and as a content creator, I can look at the stats relating to who is reading my content, from where, and how they got here. Tidbits include my top five countries for audience - US, UK, Germany, Latvia, Russia. I find the last three inexplicable. My most read posts include my Dr Who rant, the one that used to be called 'bisexual video', and one of the ones about my mother. This is more understandable.<br />
<br />
<div>
As I was glancing through all this today, idly in a moment of quiet when I was up to date on all my subscriptions to YouTube and online TV catch-up, I noticed something in the 'searches' section. This tells me what people who found my blog through web searches put into the search engine. One of the things that someone, or more than one person, had searched was "does it feel weird being bisexual?"</div>
<div>
Something about that made me stop and think, and I want to share my thoughts.<br />
<br />
This is a question I would never have conceived of being asked, as it seems to be one from the outside of bisexuality, and of course I am on the inside. I have never been asked this, and I find it really strange to answer it. What does it mean? What makes someone not bisexual think it might be weird to be bisexual (as opposed to anything else that isn't their own orientation)? It's the use of 'feel' that gets me. I could understand 'is it weird to be bisexual?' But 'does it feel weird?'</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Does it feel weird being bisexual? How could your orientation feel weird? Is the person asking someone scared that they are bisexual, wondering if it's a bizarre thing to be and therefore it <i>should </i>feel weird? Because that is saddening; it breaks my heart. My immediate answer to that is it <b>shouldn't </b>feel weird. But it does feel alienating. I feel like I'm seen as weird, because most people identify as straight, and most people think the only other option is gay. It feels weird to moderate my behaviour to fit into the binary world, it feels weird that I can't fully engage with people how I want to, because me being with a man is not seen as bisexual, nor is me being with a woman, even though whenever I am with anyone I am attracted to, it feels bisexual. And I know the world doesn't get that.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Does it feel weird being bisexual? In many ways, no. It's my natural state; it's intrinsically who I am and influences everything I say, think and do, the same as being a ciswoman, or white, or British. Being attracted to more than one gender is the only way I understand the world - the thought of being attracted to only one is weird! It feels like exactly how I ought to be, the best way for me to be, the path that I am meant to take. It feels good because it's right for me, and it gives me something solid about my identity, and that in turn gives me membership to a great, worldwide network of everyone who goes under the 'B' umbrella, and it's so amazing being part of such a diverse set of people whilst still having something in common.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Does it feel weird being bisexual? It's not like I have anything to compare it to. Though it took until I was 14 to realise that I needed to use that label as opposed to the default 'straight', actually <i>being </i>bisexual is how I've always been as far back as I can remember even having a concept of liking my peers even just platonically. I didn't know it at the time, but looking back, as an eight year old, I felt as 'bisexual' as much as the majority of my prepubescent peers felt 'straight', without any true understanding of intimate relationships. So if I've been bisexual since I was aware of my relationships with peers, how could it feel weird? It's all I've ever been - it's all that I've ever known. It's normal for me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Does it feel weird being bisexual? If I sat outside myself, and looked objectively at the concept of being bisexual compared to the gay/straight binary, it can look weird. It seems insubstantial almost, so undefined and flexible, which doesn't seem human. But then, coming back to myself, it seems like the only plausible option! Love is, to me, the greatest goal, and everyone has the capacity to love, so why would you not be open to loving and being loved by anyone? Gender seems such as arbitrary thing to be picky about, especially when you know how sex/gender/gender expression are all one spectrums between the concepts of male and female. But then, I wholeheartedly accept that straight people feel absolutely nothing for the same-gender, and gay people feel absolutely nothing for any gender except their own. That's how they feel, and it doesn't feel weird to them.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Does it feel weird being bisexual? It's not a specific sensation to feel. It's a state of being, it's a worldview, it's part of what's floating behind my eyes. There's no set of criteria, or symptoms. It's a label I use to describe a very personal part of my life - attraction, and intimate relations; it's a fact of human existence that some of us are attracted to people, and some of us are distinctly not attracted to people, and me, I am attracted to people. It's as important to me as breathing. I'm bisexual head to foot, outside and in, every molecule, because my relationships with people I am attracted to affect me mind, body and soul, and the power of it rings through my life like a sound wave bouncing off a canyon's walls and filling to whole thing with echoes.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Does it feel weird being bisexual? It might do when you first realise life is not going to be how you expected it to be. It might be when you first crush on someone of a gender you haven't crushed on before. The first time I kissed a girl, it felt good, but it felt weird, because I had spent 14 years not expecting it be part of my life. But now, kissing women, and kissing men; sleeping with them, loving them, talking to them, sharing affection, wanting them - it doesn't feel weird. It feels bisexual; it feels like what I want, and who I am.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Does it feel weird being bisexual? Not now I've embraced the truth of who I am. It feels great.</div>
Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-66479608746750507632013-08-19T11:34:00.001+01:002013-08-19T11:34:31.621+01:00The Gay MoralistI don't know if you've ever encountered John Corvino "The Gay Moralist", but I hadn't until today when he popped up on my Youtube 'What to watch' recommended videos (based on what I have watched before). I thoroughly enjoyed the video I was recommended, so much so that I spent the entire morning going through his back catalogue of videos, and after I post this, I will get out some nail polish and sit down to watch his hour long lecture "What's Morally Wrong With Homosexuality?"<br />
<br />
I wanted to pass on my recommendation to you, if you don't know him, to have a look at what he has to say. Yes, he's gay, but we won't hold that against him; like a lot of gay things, it is still relevant to us to engage with conversation about same-sex relations (even though we cannot conceive of only being attracted the just the same sex - weird). He's a philosophy professor, he is handsome and charming, very articulate, and simply likable. His humour is also topnotch, and he wrote a book with an anti-same-sex marriage campaigner, so he must have significant patience and a kind heart.<br />
<br />
He even mentions us! This is the specific video that I'm going to post for your first dive into his style of vlogging:<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/yHJ2_J0b4tM" width="500"></iframe><br />
<br />
Have look at it, and if you like it, I heartily recommend that you browse his channel to see if he covers any topics that take your interest. My goodness, do I wish my videos could turn out half so well - but of course, I'm a twenty-one year old student, and he's much more experienced and has a PhD, so duh!Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-6133836829739954912013-08-05T22:28:00.000+01:002013-08-05T22:28:10.167+01:00Bi guy and a straight guy sit on a sofa<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I just uploaded a video response to one of my favourite Youtubers, RJ, a bi man in a same-sex relationship who does a daily vlog with his boyfriend Will, to show that two men can have a completely normal life together - they are amazing, and entertaining, and I watch every day! They just moved into a place together, so there's been a lot of trips to Ikea, but they've also had a few friends round, and one is a straight guy, Chris, who is also a vlogger. On RJ's extra channel, he posted a conversation he had with their straight friend about bisexuality, and I found it so good I had to respond, and what I had to say wouldn't fit in a comment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Go check out the original video :</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/O4omrxs2yIs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and then my video response (it might not appear under RJ's until he approves it)</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">:</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/5bhSApIGvqI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">and tell me what you think in the comments - do you agree?</span>Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2918196824527953004.post-89269112395490069532013-08-02T22:26:00.003+01:002013-08-02T22:26:57.512+01:00Talking about being bisexual with my parents - advice please!I just had a majorly heated discussion in my kitchen with my parents and younger brother about my bisexuality.<br />
<br />
This is major in itself, because they don't have conversations about sex and gender - I even started telling them about the spectrums of sex/gender/sexuality/gender expression! Think that blew their minds a little.<br />
<br />
Anyway, my dad and I were the ones really going head to head. I was expressing my disappointment in him that he felt we needed to keep my bisexuality from his siblings and their kids - my aunts and uncles. He said he'd tell them when I had a girlfriend, because it was immaterial until then.<br />
<br />
He said that in three years since my coming out, there has never been a moment in conversation with his siblings when it seemed the right moment to just mention it casually. I don't believe him, but he's sticking with it.<br />
<br />
My brother then asked why I never came out to him. It was then that I really realised that, yes, what they were saying was true, it does feel like you're making a big deal out of it to tell people directly - but that's why coming out to your parents is a big deal, and that's why I was relying on them to pass it on in a less direct manner than a specifically convened time, like my coming out, to relevant family members, who they talk to relatively frequently.<br />
<br />
I told my brother, 'I suppose I expected them to tell you'. I eventually had the courage about a year after coming out to them to specifically bring it up with him by saying "you know I'm bisexual right?" and I was shocked to find out that he knew from reading it on my Twitter profile!<br />
<br />
Who is right? My father thinks it's none of their business, and even when I get a girlfriend, there's no need to specify, because one's sexuality is a private thing. If you do, you're ramming it down their throats and making a big deal.<br />
<br />
I think sure, some people don't want to be particularly open about being a minority and just get on with their lives, and fair play to them, I've got no problem with them doing that. But I don't feel like that about my life; I don't want people to think I'm straight when there's opportunity to correct their assumption, because it's untrue, the same way I don't want them to think I'm anything else that I'm not.<br />
<br />
And in my wider life, I want to enhance bi-visibility, and the way to do it in my intimate network of the family is be out and proud, which I don't think is shoving it down their throats. I don't think anyone is going to think my dad is making a big deal if, say, in conversation with his brother about my cousin's upcoming wedding, talk of my future wedding comes up, and he mentions that it might not be a man, and when his brother asks for clarification, dad tells him I'm bi.<br />
<br />
And I'm not saying make my grandparents' lives difficult by telling them, because there isn't much point. It'll get sticky when I do bring a girl home, and I'll probably have to fight them about telling the grandparents then, but that's not the issue. Am I right to be disappointed that my dad has kept it from my family?<br />
<br />
Please leave your thoughts in the comments.Georginahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04249837718702941385noreply@blogger.com2