Monday, 20 December 2010

Being asked if I'm bisexual

Today I was on a long car journey with a group of people I was good friends with, but from a professional relationship background. So they had all heard me over the last few months occasionally reference ex-gfs and the like, but I'd never used the word 'bisexual' specifically, it had just never come up.

One of them I knew less well, having spent much less time with her, and one particular occasion when I mentioned my ex-gf, she just said straight out "Do you consider yourself bisexual then?" or some similar, plain phrasing.

And I was overcome with gratitude. This is just the simple answer to many of the social awkward moments that can come from other people not being bold enough to clear up my orientation. Because I'm not going to announce it or something, why should I have to? And it's not my fault the opportunity didn't arise for me to clear it up neatly. That particular fact about me was dealt with easily and painlessly, as it should be.

Being asked plainly was not insulting, or rude, it was a neutral enquiry, and so I was able to the just "Yes," and that was that, like asking if I had pets! And it would have been fine if she had asked "Are you gay?" because it would again be simple to say "No, I'm bisexual".

Furthermore, I can accept that the majority of people don't meet bisexuals that they know undoubtedly to be so, and so are a little intrigued. It didn't happen on this occasion, but she may have been interested to know more about my being bisexual, and to a certain point I'll happily answer other questions that might have followed (obviously letting them know when they had reached a boundary, which I generally draw at questions that I wouldn't be expected to answer if I were straight).

So this incident made me realise that we should be unafraid to simply ask someone their orientation, without it being misread as aggressive or nosy, and that I am very proud of my bisexuality.

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