I think I've talked about this before, but I just have the compulsion to talk about it now.
How can people forget? People forget I'm bisexual, like they might forget I don't like pink, or something. It feels ludicrous to me. They don't forget about the gay people, but they always need prompting, a reminder, to add women into the equation about me when talking about men, or other similar situations.
I'm a romantic - a soppy fool if you will, full of marshmallow and loud ballads - and love is a big deal for me. So it gets on my nerves that people stumble when talking about me and love, that they get it wrong, forget, in a way that doesn't apply to my preferences to colours. I don't care if they forget that I don't like pink. But forgetting I'm bi, well, that's a part of me that majorly affects my life, basically runs it.
My passion for love, my enthusiasm for human connection, it's in everything - my interactions with others that wants to be a good person so that they may be happy; my love of story, and how it explores what it means to be people, that leads me to writing my own prose as well as reading copiously, and choosing a career in theatre; throwing myself into the faith and community of Christianity; honing my cooking skills and appreciation of food so it can be shared with others - the human condition fascinates me, and the bare essential of the meaning of life, and the ultimate underpinning of the universe for me boils down to LOVE.
And I fall in love with men and women.
And you forget that the basic principle of my existence involves both??!
Or that's what it feels like. Is it because I know I'm a misunderstood element of a misunderstood minority, that I am projecting forgetfulness onto them, because I expect it? How can I tell if my perception is wrong?
But if I'm right...
You can see my problem. I want to let it go; I want to forgive them on the grounds of human error, or ignorance, as we are all guilty of committing of course, and I wonder if my difficulty to do so is justified or not. Is it righteous indignation? Or is it part of my selfish desire to be understood and remembered? Is it part of my activist attitude that I must pick people up on the mistake in the hopes of spreading the word and decreasing the ignorance? Or is it on par with the pink thing, and I'm just making a mountain out of a mole hill?
I only ask questions because I genuinely don't know. And I pose the issue because I wonder whether other bisexuals meet with forgetfulness, and if it annoys them, and if it does, whether they feel guilty for being annoyed.
Also wondering whether to use the upcoming Valentines Day to make a move on the guy I like. You're probably not surprised to learn that most of my thoughts - outside of working on the costume of The Marriage of Figaro - are taken up with this man, and how I can communicate my interest to him.
I just smiled to myself. I witter on about the drama of the bisexual life, and how socio-politically we operate in society, but I'm glad I can remind myself of what it's all about - one person fancying the pants off another person, and feeling the butterflies when they see them.
Them butterflies. Get every they do. Run the universe ya know.
Anyway, I'm not saying someone's bisexuality should define them, or determine how others treat them. I'm not even saying that others should be aware of my enthusiasm (sight obsession) with love. I just think others should treat bisexuals like whole people, including their bisexuality.