Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Coming out as bisexual

I know I'm lucky. I've never had to come out to long time friends. Realising at 14, I had no one I was particularly bothered to tell, except a few, and you know what? I don't recall telling them.

I think that's because it was such a non-issue that no conversation was needed. It doesn't matter to them what orientation people are, and they love me so much they did not have to make a big deal of finding out about my bisexuality.Those few people will be in my heart forever.

Everyone else at the time, did not need to know. They weren't my friends, they were just the people I spent time with at break times in the classroom because I didn't want to be lonely.

And then I had a great opportunity. 16, new school. Leave the old behind, enter sixth form completely new. I only had one person at the sixth form who I wanted to hang out with, and he already knew.

So when introduced to new people, being bi was just a fact that came out in the getting-to-know-you stage, just like my love of Disney classics, my anecdote about going to hospital after running into a tree, and my perchance for bursting into song in the street.

I never had to come out to friends. I don't come out any more. Now my family know, there is no one I already know to tell, and it won't be hidden from people I don't know yet, so they won't need coming out to.

I know I'm lucky. Most people go through trauma when coming out, and some people come out to every person they meet.

That wouldn't work for me. I am who I am, bisexuality and Disney love included, and I can't be bothered to become someones friend and then see what their reaction is to it, because if it's bad, I don't want to be their friend anyway. So the whole debacle can be avoided by being totally open and honest from the offset.

I think this sometimes comes across as an aggressive 'I'm bi, I want everyone to know, I don't care what the fuck everyone thinks' rubbing-it-in-people's-faces attitude, but that's not what I'm about. I'm just matter-of-fact about one of the parts of my identity that society seems to want to make into something weird and worthy of more note than a full grown young woman with a tendency to spend her evenings crying at the end of the children's animation.

I don't know about you, but coming out as a Disney lover should be the bigger issue


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